Materialistic-"A father for Brittany?"

Now I am on a rampage just so you are all aware. I try to be civil with every one; in the end I ask myself "WHY?" Brittany; just told me that every time her bio dad contacts her; he is always bragging about what he just bought. In the back of my mind I was thinking "MATERIALISTIC"! What do you think???? Ok; you walked out on this young lady; claim you want to be in her life; but it seems to me you are damaging any thing you might have by all your bragging. Brittany; told me how can this guy even feel right telling me what he is buying; when he has never even cared if I had a roof over my head? How do you answer that? It seems people used against me what I didn't have; to get my oldest child; but they forgot to tell me I would grow-up; and get these things; and you learn to survive when you are a mother. No; Brittany never has hurt for any thing.

My 2nd thought today; over the weekend Brittany was looking at the guide on T.V.; she hollered for me to come look at this movie title. I told her I would be there in a second; she hollered for me again; and I was thinking it was going to be some silly title. It broke my heart when she showed me the title. The title was "A father for Brittany"; that's exactly how we spell her name. As a mother; I try to be both; but I am one person; and far from perfect-which her bio dad seems to love to point out. HMMM; but then again I don't think he should be passing judgement on me when I tried to do right by both my children. NO; I don't think in the end I made the right decision with my son; but I live with that now. And I remeber Brittany just did something in front of my ex-husband; and he laughed he said she always has done that since she has been a baby; and that's our "Brittany."

Adoption? People you tell-that you dated-and then they use it to hurt you

So; ya'll know I have been in contact with Britt's bio dad. Why do I have to be a bleeding heart? I try to allow an open door-why so my ex-husband can get called names-hey; I have called him a few choice words in my life; but never the one this man uttered.I am sorry my son isn't with me; I think all of you know that. But; if you were not there during that part of my life; and I trusted you enough to share the intimate deatails of it-why would you use it to hurt me? I am sitting here shaking:( You know though I know what that man is; I always have I guess. But; when your child shares the same DNA-you like to think the person has some good in them. It scares me that my child could be realated to such a cold-hearted person. Do you think she will end up like him? He said to me "You gave your son away?" Does any one find that horrible? I didn't give my son away. People convinced me it was in his best interest. Did they know for years I would still cry? Did they know I could never hold another baby without freaking out? My ex-husband had to have a clue; he would call me from work after I had Brittany just to check on how we were doing. I remember sitting at his mom's seeing him after every thing; and remembering how much comfort that face use to bring me. He smiled at me the way he used to; when he knew I couldn't handle much more. We grew up together. How can you ever forget that face-the one that calmed you down when nothing else could. I didn't give my son away-I thought I was giving him a better life. No one knows the reality of what any of us go through? You should never make a parent wonder-and thats all I do about my son! I wonder what his interests are, if he likes sports; what are his fave things to eat....SO many wonders; will they ever be answered? Britt's bio dad gave me the answer today-he said I would never know. What do you think??? Is any one out there?????

Do not read this Blog to use to your own Advantage-it only makes me Pity you that much MORE

There is some one out there; who felt the need to look me up on Google. That is fine; I guess. But; this blog isn't here for you to play mind games with me. It isn't here for you to call me; and rehash the story of what happened when I was 16/17. You weren't here. And you don't take care of all your children-so do NOT CAST THE FIRST STONE-Mr.Michael Christopher RICHIDELLA. Yes; I been so quiet; on this blog; because we all know how hard this subject is for us mothers. Recently; though Brittany's bio father is trying to say he searches the net for us-to see what Britt is up to. You all know; that I would give him that info-all he has to do is ask. And; we found his wife on MYspace; she doesn't think the subject of Brittany has any thing to do with her. Is it just me; or do any of you disagree with that? Brittany would like to talk to her; but she doesn't seem open to that. All my friends out there-answer me this-is it out of the norm for a child to want these questions answered?

What disturbs me most-this guy has read this blog. He tried to tell me what the deal was with my mother-DUH; I was there; you jerk. Don't read my blog; and call me, and tell me what it says. I am the author. Surprised? Not really; the letter I wrote you in 2006; when your mother called she felt the need to tell me what I wrote. Hmmm; if someone wrote the blog, letter, etc...I don't think I have to tell them what it says.

PLEASE: DO NOT READ THIS BLOG TO PLAY MIND GAMES:( I am open with what happen in both my pregnancies; and if that makes me fool so be it. But; SECRETS ARE NEVER GOOD: RIGHT?????

Where I am at right now; with my son is no news at this time. It's has been really hard to update this blog lately; as I am dealing with all kind of issues with Brittany. She is so ready to confront her bio dad-but hmmmm? 16; I say she can do it; anybody out there think I should allow her to do it now? Oh yes; bio daddy doesn't want Britt going to his mom; says it has nothing to do with her. Brittany; gave me that look; like "What in the world?" Now; that is her grandmother who decided not to have any thing to do with her; I feel she has right to all the answers she wants. Yes; Brittany has my ex-husband's last name; but we all know that could have been fought. Larry Berkshire sure fought for his PRINCESS; didn't he? LOL:) And; there is a grandmother dear to my heart that fought with all she had for that granddaughter-do you know I am talking to you?

SafeHouse for Momma

I keep thinking; and thinking. There is so many projects; in the works. There is one thing; I keep thinking though; where can a pregnant woman go; without the pressure from family; daddy; etc.... There is one place; I think we will all agree; is safe to send these mothers to live. One??? Just is not enough; is it? Here is an idea; I been looking for employment; for several reasons. The main reason; Britt is at school; most of the day; and S is gone most of the time. In my mind; I keep thinking we did it without my salary; for the past few years. So; if I go back to work; what could I do to help women like us not endure the hell we did? There is a project; I will talk about soon; but have to wait for T's permission to talk about that. My other thoughts; is to somehow start a home for mothers that need the space from all the pressures. And in this home there will never even be thought of separating momma/baby. This could be a dream; but any thing is possible right?

Britt Insecure?

I been pretty quiet lately! Maybe; it just got to me; all the emotions I hid for years. Lately; it doesn't seem I can get enough sleep. I remember the last time I was like this; was right before my father passed away. Most of you know; after that I had issues sleeping; a few hours here, and there. Maybe; I am sleeping trying to forget. How can I forget? I still feel my mother betrayed me; all these years later.

You know what she told Britt recently? My mother told Brittany she is insecure; because she knows about her brother. Should I feel bad my daughter knows about her brother? My therapist; who is an adoption specialist; told me; she would have told me to tell her if she didn't already know.

How can my family expect me to still believe all the lies that this was such a great thing? When they are basically telling my child she is insecure; because of this great thing? I can't be quiet; why should I be? I held in the screams in my hearts, of hearts for years.

Baby Molly

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/femail/article.html?in_article_id=480201&in_page_id=1879&ICO=FEMAIL&ICL=TOPART

This young lady; and her unborn baby are already being threatened to be torn away from each other. And; guess what? Momma didn't approach any one; this decision is being made for momma, and baby. And; the decision was made by someon who has never meant momma. I cry for this young lady; she has to be scared out of her mind. Lillie has asked what we can do to help momma, and baby. We just can not sit back; and let another momma/child be torn from each other; Lillie states on her blog. Lillie is RIGHT!!!!!!!! Any thoughts on how we can help?

Stephanie Bennett-Needs Our Help

Sandy told this story on her blog. I am going to link her blog here; please help this young lady; Stephanie Bennett. http://musing-mother.blogspot.com/

Please; take time; and read this case. It is disturbing on so many levels. Stephanie; started; her senior year today. That should be an exciting time for this young lady; planning her prom; graduation parties; etc..... Sandy mentions in her post; if you look in Stephanie's eyes; you will see the pain that has haunted her since she been 13 years old. I cry for this young lady; because that man took away from this young lady not only her baby; but any happiness she should of have during her teen years. Stephanie was frightened; how could she not be?

It scares me to know; how many people know this case is unethical; yet they keep the baby from this young lady. This young lady; is a victim of sexual abuse; and the guidance counselor never thought about what he was doing to this young lady. We should be able to trust our guidance counselors; but I am fearful; most of them do not catch signs they should.

Stephanie; and her family need help. If they do not come up with the money; for an appeal within two weeks; her precious baby will be loss to the industry most of us despise with a passion. So; please visit the above link; and at the end of the post; Sandy has linked where you can send your donations.

I am crying for this young lady; who should be enjoying life. How the hell could this man do this to her?