Monday, July 30, 2007

Another Mom Signs Under Duress Another mom signs under duress. The mom surrender in SC; but as of now she has relocated to AZ; for a sense of relief from this madness. I do not think she has yet; got that relief; as this trauma continues. Please; stop by; this site; and offer your support. My dear friend in SC; Michael; can you look at this and give me some insight?

Shannon O'Dea brought this to MY Attention! It's Disturbing

Read this; and tell me your thoughts? My thoughts? Refund? Is what these people were thinking of when this sweet little baby passed away. Refund? I am a mother of two; one loss to adoption; and another who is still here. If either of them passed away; my last thought would be of money; as I would hope any parents last thought would be. Since when do children come with REFUNDS? Ugh; this is disturbing on many levels. So disturbing; I am at a loss for words.

Sunday, July 29, 2007

Utah Needs to Be Stopped

There are three stories right now going on in Utah. Three? Why? The LDS church; I just learned. I had to ask the O'Dea family to explain the LDS church to me; and they were nice enough to send me a link which I am going to post here; so if you don't understand the LDS Church this will help educate you more.

Under this I am posting a link to all three stories:

And this will help better explain the LDS Church:

Utah needs to be be stopped treating father's this way. What can we do? There has to be a way to end this madness. I have wrote to the Utah Gov.; already concerning Cody. I am now going to write about these other two men to the Utah Gov.; please do the same. You can find the link for the Utah Gov.; on the link of baby selling. The more we bombard them with letters; the more they will have to think. Yes; they need to think; and realize how wrong this is. Theses babies were not without homes; and loving families. All these fathers wanted these babies. They said; I take responsibility for my child; and they get treated this way. Why can't father's win in this country? If they said; to the mom; it is your problem; they would of been called a Deadbeat Dad. Am I missing something? Because I am BOILING MAD at how fathers are being treated.

Saturday, July 28, 2007

Tears are streaming down my face; as I reply to this.
But I thought I would answer some questions for you from my stand; I am a natural mom:
No, at the time I didn't realize what I was doing. I felt alone in a nightmare that I couldn't wake from.
It was not easy to lay there; not knowing where to turn for help. I laid awake; because I just wanted to be with you; just me and you. When we were alone; I'd talk to you and tell you "Momma is here." And I always wanted to be there; I never wanted this.
Regret? That second.
I wanted to scream in the car; the whole way home. My screams wouldn't come out; they were trapped;as the way I felt I was trapped. I hear those scream in my hearts, of hearts as I write this now.
The final hour; I was with people I do not trust today. Yes; I regretted this decision since it happened.
It feels like a death; to lose part of oneself; to a future unknowing. Tears of sorrow; and they have never lessened; I still have those tears of sorrow; and you will be 15 on August 14.
I; only heard you cry; when you came into this world. And; I remember that cry as it was a second ago. That is locked in my heart; of hearts. No; you didn't understand the decision made on your behalf; how could you? You were just my sweet Innocent baby.
For me; it was a lot worse then the loss of my 1st love.
No; I wouldn't do this all over again. I would run, run, and hide; so they couldn't have my precious baby boy.
Yes; you were very wanted in the womb.
Yes; look for me; you would find a momma who regrets not knowing you; baby boy.
No; your father didn't stay. I don't know if he even knows what happened to us:( Yes; I have another child. Brittany; your sister; is 10 years old. Yes; she knows all about you; and wishes you were with us; as I do.

Yes; the person who wrote this; used the forbidden word. But made good points. I just do not think he realizes how hurtful that word is.

Friday, July 27, 2007

Cody O'Dea

Please; stop by Cody's web page; and show your support. The petition is up; but I wish there were more signantures. All the O'Dea famly is asking for is people to sign the petition; and letters to the Utah Gov. Also; please sign the guestbook; tell the family they are in your thoughts, and we are rooting for them. The next court date is August 29, 2007. So lets overwhelm the family with signatures on the petition. Then they know we are rooting for them. Some people have left nasty remarks in the guestbook; that has my blood boiling. How can people be so cruel? PLEASE, SHOW YOUR SUPPORT to CODY O'DEA, and his family.

Do it for me; because we all know August is a hard month for me. August 14; will be here to quick; and it will be another year I didn't get to spend my son's birthday with him. Hopefully; we can stand together and not let this young man; go through the pain a lot of us go through on our children's birthday. This is my birthday present for my son; to help Cody.

Any other suggestions of what we can do; please leave me a comment; or email me @ I am very interested in any ideas you have to help the O'Dea family; and any other family that needs our help.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Is The USA finally Getting It?

Yay; as you probably can figure out I am happy with the outcome of this case. Finally; in the parents favor. And; you see no one cared to explain the reality to them what was happening with their baby. They thought it was temporary for health insurance needs; wasn't the case. Can the people who don't explain the reality of this sleep at night? I can't; knowing there are parents out there suffering because they don't have their baby/children. And; most of them said I can't do this; went to court; but were ruled against. Why is that? This country makes me ILL when it comes to adoption. Our country failed these mothers, and fathers. It is late so I will not go on a rampage about how fathers are treated in this country.

On a good note; Congratulations to this Family. If you are adoptive parents; and the parents tell you they can't do it; don't put them through the hell. Put yourself in their shoes; is it worth causing their family the pain? If you think it is; you have no business adopting in the first place. That baby obviously has a family who loves him/her; and if you love the baby; you would want is best for the baby; and that is being with their family.

Tuesday, July 24, 2007


Ok; so I was reading a report on Jamie. Can we say coercion? Yes; by the amom, and Jamie's boyfriend. You are telling me we should let that girl adopt? Show me; how she is fit. Coercion; in itself makes her unfit to be a mother in my opinion. And another thing; aren't adoptive parents screened? This bothers me; with my son being out there. Were his parents not screened? No one should just be allowed to adopt. To many insane people out there; as it is. We all know my feelings on adoption; and they are not very nice. This attorney should have to answer; why he allowed this girl to do this to the mother. Does he know coercion took place?

Monday, July 23, 2007

Jamie Kiefer

Please send letter, cards, etc.....of support. Please; show her that we do care. Yes; a lot of people are turned off by the gun. We do not know her side of the story as of yet. Do not judge her. Hey; it could of been us. I will raise my hand; and say; Yes; it could of been me with the right information. Losing a baby/child is traumatic. We all deal with trauma differently. So let's show Jamie she is not alone.

Here is her address:
Jamie Kiefer CA132A
204 Gillestie Street
Fayatteville, NC

Thank you; to all of you for doing this. I will keep her address updated; as she will be transferred back to MS; but as for now she remains in NC.

Sunday, July 22, 2007

Read This

Another mother in jail for kidnapping her own baby!!!!! She changed her mind; give the baby; back. Yes; I can see how she did this. How can you live with yourself knowing that mommy wants her baby? No; in this country we decide to put people in jail when they change their mind. WTF? This makes me sick to my stomach; knowing this is who adopts our babies. You told me this 15 years ago; you would never have got my baby. I would had ran, and ran until you couldn't find us. Yes; she went crazy to get her baby back. I can relate to that. I scream; and throw things when I am alone. I would love to hear something shatter against the wall; because that is what my heart is doing. The only reason I haven't done that; is that I would have to clean up the pieces. I can't clean up the pieces of my heart; the damage has been done. You know so many of us have been hurt by this. Why can't people see all the pain involved in all of this? Look at what this country is doing; putting women in jail for kidnapping their own child. I hate to tell you; you failed those women. She wouldn't be put in this position if you didn't tricked her to get that baby. Yes; I said tricked. I was TRICKED, MANIPULATED; choose a word of your choice; but don't tell me it was my choice.

It wasn't my choice! And; if I knew more of where my son was I might be sharing a cell with one of these ladies. Who do I blame? My mother; is first on the list. How could she do this to her first grandchild; and the only grandson she will ever have. My sister is done having children; and I had Brittany five years later. But I am done too. So my two will be my only two; and my oldest one might never speak to me again:( If he doesn't; I blame my mother; the attorney; the people she made me live with; society............ I could go on, on. Yes; I do blame myself too. Because; stupid me didn't realize my mother had her own agenda. See what this did? I will never ever forgive my mother. I wish I could; but how can I?

Saturday, July 21, 2007

Nothing Yet:(

No leads yet:( Patience is a virtue; why can't I understand that? I know I have so little info; we are working on getting my medical records now. Please; let there be a lead. I do have a little info; what state he went to(as long as they didn't lie) if they didn't he left Georgia:(; first name of adoptive parents; their profession; where they worked. What do you think? Suggesttions are greatly appreciated. I am scared though; as I do not want to ruin a chance at a relationship with my son. If he allows me to have that. Between me, and you; I SO WANT THAT. Although; I realize I have to accept what he wants. I will; do that. I will not force myself on him.

Friday, July 20, 2007


Nothing; as of yet. GRRR..... I want my baby's info. Maybe a few leads; 3 websites popped up when I googled his birthday. Maybe; there's a connection; not sure. The first website; something is telling me; there could be a connection. No picture; on that one. There was a picture on the 2nd website; hmmm......doesn't look like his father; maybe; my father. Which we all know Brittany is the picture of my father. So that would be the norm for my children.

My sister just used the term (birth mother); UGH. I did explain to her that is offensive; do not use it. At first; she said everyone uses it. Duh; society is not educated on this whole situation. If we were; most of us wouldn't be sitting here in the pain we are. Yes; I am in pain. How could I not be? One of my children; grew up in someone else's home. And for that; my youngest child; will never have the pleasure of growing up with her brother. We talk about him. It is weird to her; how could it not be?

Will my son feel the way I do; that his sister was the chosen child? That was not it at all. If you knew me during this time in my life; you know I wanted to keep my baby. But; my mom, attorney; people I lived with; all played their part in to making me think I couldn't do it. Damn. I could of done it. I should of listen to my heart. I am sorry; I did this. I might never have a relationship with my son because of this.

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Update on Search

Ok; so I started the process. But; I have very little info. As I blocked most of it out; except bits, and pieces here, and there. Any one else do that? So; getting my medical records will be a start.

My mother drove me to the hospital; I am really tyring not to be bitter; but she is saying she doesn't remember the name of the hospital. Why doesn't she want me to know the info?

If this was one of my children; I would of wrote down all info; educated myself; but, my mother didn't. Know she help the manipulation. Ok; I am angry at her. Got get out of that mode; I am about to see her. If I keep this mode up; I'll be in jail.

So we are taking the first steps to get my medical records. Why didn't I think of that? Duh; I had a brain tumor. Some of you know that. Was diagnosed August 4, 2006. Surgery April 3,2007. All is good now. Some headaches; but not like before. The neurosurgeon was awesome; just ask him. He does sing his own praises. Freaked me out. But my husband; was all for someone who was confidant. Yes; I will sing his praises now. Three days; including surgery in the hospital. No Side Effects. Very Rare Tumor. Was Born with it. Epidermoid; if you want to look it up. They say it is not hereditary.

Write more later. Have to go see mom:(

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

I am in Shock

I just learned that I could get my son's info; before he is 18. OMG; I am in shock; can you tell? I want the information; what mother doesn't? I am scared; what if I find something; I don't like? I thought it would be years; before I could know any thing. Now; within hours that has changed. Thoughts?

Saturday, July 14, 2007

What is with Utah?; this case; now the Cody O'Dea case. Thoughts?


My friend sent out a Happy Birthday; to her son. It broke my heart!!

I will be doing the same; one month from today. I often wonder does my mother know the date? Will she call to see how I am? I know my sister knows the date. She is like me with dates!

My family(mother & sister) never refer to him; as a title; i.e. my grandson, my nephew! That bothers me. Is that weird it bothers me??? I refer to him; as my son. My baby; sometimes; even though I know he is not a baby; he's a young man.

I couldn't sleep all night; thinking of that friend. I could only imaginge what is running through her mind. As; I know what runs through my mind every year.

Did he get what he wanted? Was it a good day? Did he think of me? Does he even know about me? There are so many questions; that run through my mind.

My most important thought"Does he think I regret this?" YES; I DO; BABY BOY!!!!! If I had to do it alll over; I would run, and run and take you with me.

I would of call my dad's sister; your great aunt. She didn't know; none of your grandfather's family knew. I wasn't allowed to associate with them after my father/your grandfather passed away. Mother's choice. Maybe if I picked up the phone; and called they would of helped us.

I told; Dawn(my aunt/great aunt for u); before I even told my husband. She was in shocked; she said I should of called. I should of. Maybe; I wouldn't be in this place now; if I had. I contacted my father's family about 2 years ago. It was to much; I lost him, and you within 13 months. My mother still doesn't know. I been to visit my father's grave; the only other time was at his funeral. Daddy; you were my only parent. If you know me; you know my sister is the chosen
child in my family(mother and stepdad). Always; been like that for my mother. I am not sure what the deal is. Stepdad's deal; is I was a daddy's girl. And he made some comments; that I didn't appreciate. He didn't know my father. My father wasn't perfect; but he was my father! And; his addiction did cost him his life. So I don't need a stepfather who is going to talk about a man that his dead; he never knew. So I am guessing that his why he prefers my sister to me. As; I told them let the man rest in peace!!!

We are trying to stop the madness. I can't save us; I wish I could. My thoughts are; that we can't allow this to happen to another family.

Young men; walk-by me about your age; I study their face. Could it be you? Would you regonize me? Will their be a connection? I still hear your cry in my mind. I hold that in my hearts, of hearts. It is the only memory I was allowed; that no one could take from me. They say you went to California; what if they lied? God; I hope they didn't. It is the only information; I have to go on. But what if you are right here; and I walked by you; saw your face; and never even knew?

I am getting very vocal about adoption practices; they make me sick. I asked for pictures, and updates..... Told that wasn't heard of! Honey; I am sorry. Why didn't I educate myself? I believed that they were telling the truth. I never thought people would do this; now I know.

Will you allow me to know you? Your children? I am sorry; Baby Boy! Please; forgive me! I was young, and scared. No excuse; I know. I was your mother; first, and foremost. I should of protected us. That will always bother me that I allowed myself to believe all the Adoption LIES.

Yes; they are lies! And any one who wants to argue that point; I am willing to educate you, and show you the horrors of this.

Friday, July 13, 2007

Resources List

Just an update; the resources are coming along. Everyone has been very helpful; with what they know. It is good to know that people want to help.

Welcome back; to a lot of my blogger friends who seemed to be on vacation for the past week. Hope that is where ya'll were. I am ready for vacation. But; that doesn't happen in our household until the winter. Joys of Relocation Business(Sigh).

Wednesday, July 11, 2007


If we knew there was help out there; we would not have listen to adoption was for the best of the baby. I am compiling a list of resources together; to help pregnant teens/women in need. I have medicaid, WIC, transportation; and children's health insurance programs. What else am I missing? Baby items? Can anyone out there help me with these resources in their state? Yes; I am trying to get resources in all 50 states. Ladies; think about it; we can't tell someone not to do it; if we are not going to step-up to the plate, and help her find the resources to make it easier. We have to show the ladies out there; there is help. And; all of us; hurt by adoption; should be the first ones to step-up to the plate; and offer any help we are able to. Would it hurt us; to give someone a ride to the pediatrician's office; or to their prenatal appointment; etc........ If someone; said to us; Hey; I am here. I will help you; things might have turned out different for us. But; no one offered this to most of us; so my friends out there; what are your suggestions? PLEASE; YA'LL HELP ME WITH THIS.

Monday, July 9, 2007

The Women In Your Life

Time passes.

Life happens.

Distance seperates.

Children grow up.

Jobs come and go.

Love waxes and wanes.

Men don't do what they're supposed to do.

Hearts break.

Parents die.

Colleagues forget favors.

Careers end.


Sisters are there, no matter how much time and how many miles are between you.

A girlfriend is never farther away than needing her can reach.

When you have to walk the lonesome valley and you have to walk it by yourself, the women in your life will be on valley's rim, cheering you on, praying for you, pulling for you, intervening on your behalf and waiting with open arms at the valley's end.

Sometimes they will even break the rules and walk beside you or come in and carry you out.

Girlfriends, daughters,granddaughters,daughters-in-law,sisiters,siters-in law,mothers,grandmothers,aunties,nieces,cousins, and extended family all bless your life!

The world wouldn't be the same without women and neither would I.

When we began this adventure called womanhood, we had no idea of the incredible joys or sorrows that lay ahead.

Nor did we know how much we would need each other.

Every day, we need each other still.


A lot of great women have touched my life lately; this is to all of you. I have not meant most of you in person; but you have made a difference in my life. Thank You!

Sunday, July 8, 2007

Cody O'Dea

Just check for updates on; Cody O'Dea. The court date has been moved to the end of August! UGH!! I want that baby back with her family. If you haven't check out the site; Google-Utah Stomps On Father's Right; sign the petition; please. Leave a comment; in the guestbook; so the family knows there are people out there who are rooting for them. Don't you wish you had Shannon for a sister???

Is there any news on Baby Evelyn? Couldn't find any; but thought I would check with ya'll. Maybe; you have heard something; I haven't.


Saturday, July 7, 2007

"If you can dream it, you can do it." Walt Disney

Why didn't I think of these words when I would dream of taking care of my baby? I dreamed of holding the baby, loving him; but I was told the exact opposite of this. You are to young; you'll never be able to do it. Where was my Walt Disney; or the rest of my friends who lost their babies to adoption where were their Walt Disney's?I hear my mother say to me all the time; you can do any thing you put your mind to. Why didn't she say that almost fifteen years ago; no, according to her I couldn't give the baby what other people could. She was right; I couldn't give the baby the money other people could back then. I wouldn't choose a friend for what he/she has; but I would choose a friend for the person they are. I think I have this mind-set now; how could I let someone play that card with me? To me; I do not care what fianacially you could offer my child; I could of loved my child; a mother's love; is more important then any thing you could buy a child.

Another; thing has me disturbed! Did you know you can adopt with a criminal record? I am in school; going for Criminal Justice. And in the text; they were showing the studies of adopted children; comparing if the natural father had a criminal record; or the adoptive father had a criminal record. WHAT? YES; you know me all to well. I had to google it. You can not adopt; if your crime had any thing to do with a child. DUH; what would make you think you could adopt a child after that? A person; with a violent crime; they say it is harder to adopt; harder not IMPOSSIBLE. Yes; I believe people change. But; what about what this person goes through in jail, or prison? Is a person ever normal after that experience? I wouldn't want to take my chance on that; my baby was adopted; and this freaks me out. Can you see how uneducated my decision was? How could I not know this; before giving up a baby? If this is not true; tell me. I only know what I found when I googled it. AND I AM MAD!! Why does this topic; always make me walk away mad?

I did join OriginsUSA: and think it is going to be very beneficial to me. If you; are not a member; join. Every one is so nice, and easy to talk to. I finally feel like I am doing something!

Thursday, July 5, 2007

The Mother's Project

The Mother's Project; you will see it added to my blog. Thank you; Celeste.

We are trying to get The Mother's Project to Atlanta. Trying to get ideas to make that happen. If you have any; or any suggestions I am all ears.

Wednesday, July 4, 2007

How to get to the ad I am angry about

Manyblessings pointed out that the link did not take you to the words I am talking about. Click on the paragrah after Domestic Newborn Adoption, and read through that. You will see what I am so angry about.

I AM ANGRY; ok ya'll need to read through this. This has me angry. They say Agressive Outreach to birthmom; aggressive- to me that states pressure-what is your opinion on that? We are results driven-What?????? Ensuring you adopt the baby of your choice-if you are being choosy; I am sorry; but you are adopting for the wrong reasons. We can help you find and adopt a happy healthy baby-WHAT????? So if the baby is born, and he/she is not happy and healthy you want to return the baby? What is wrong with this picture?

As you read in my earlier posts; I did give up a baby. I have regretted that decision; as a lot of you know it was not my decision. This ad; has my skin crawling. Results Driven-tells me the agency would pull out all the stops if the mother was having doubts that this was the right decision for her. So what does the baby of your choice mean? Certain hair color, certain eye color, and Certain Race????? And if the baby was born with a medical problem? You don't want the baby any more? People; I don't want to see this. I gave up my son.

Is this the mind-set of most adoptive parents? You do not need to be adopting. Your priorities are in the wrong place. To say the baby of your choice-says to me that you have issues that I don't want my child to have. Ok; somebody tell me did I take this all wrong????????

Tuesday, July 3, 2007

My Father

The 4th of July; should be a time to celebrate; the rest of the world is. It is my sister's birthday; her 30th. I wish I wanted to go to the celebration tommorow; instead of feeling like it is a chore. Happy 30th Birthday. Saturday; as some of you know my sister had a 30th birthday party; I was not invited. My mother; who was out of town; the day of the party; told me the next day on the phone. Are you asking yoursself"Are they not on speaking terms?" My mother; tried to say it was a neighborhood thing. My husband is not in town 90 % of the time; so yes, I would of like an invite; even a last minute one; if it was a suprise. I have not asked my sister about it; because I am getting to the point; that it is expected. But; my husband did come through Atlanta; Saturday night. It was a suprise; I didn't know until that morning. That did lessen the blow when I found this out; we were able to eat dinner together. I was excited as it had just been me in town this week; as Brittany opted to go to the shore with my parents. We went to Roadhouse; it was nice, to have the quality time with; Scott. Wish it was more then a hour; but I will take what I can get in the summer; LOL. The joys of the moving business. Oh, to answer the question; unless I missed something; me, and my sister are on speaking terms. I thought we were sisters; we have our differences, but we are friends; so I thought. I threw both of her baby showers; she was my matron of honor when Scott, and I got married; went to Jamaica last year(my whole family; my idea; what was I thinking; LOL) So am I missing why I wasn't invited to the party? I would of called her if the cards were reversed; especially if she had a husband who traveled most of the year; and she knew my child was with my parents; because her oldest was with them as well.

On a different note; my father passed away 16 years ago on July 5, 1991. So I lost two very important men within 13 months of each other. I will never forget that night; there was a knock on the door; it was two policeofficers; I wasn't prepared to hear their words. "We found your father dead tonight." What? That couldn't be. I told him the night before that I hated him; little did I know those words would come to haunt me. I learned from that; I try to never use the word hate; it is a very strong word. See; I didn't want my father to go out; so I turned my teenage charm on. But, I do remember the last three weeks we had together; which had to be God's doing; as some of you know; the last four years of his life we didn't see each other much. So as fate would have it; I would move in with him three weeks before he passed away. My father; taught me a lesson I still carry through my every day life; you never know what the outcome of doing drugs will be. It is a lesson I will never forget. My father died of a drug overdose; actually they say it was an adverse reaction to drugs.