Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Stephanie Bennett-Needs Our Help

Sandy told this story on her blog. I am going to link her blog here; please help this young lady; Stephanie Bennett. http://musing-mother.blogspot.com/

Please; take time; and read this case. It is disturbing on so many levels. Stephanie; started; her senior year today. That should be an exciting time for this young lady; planning her prom; graduation parties; etc..... Sandy mentions in her post; if you look in Stephanie's eyes; you will see the pain that has haunted her since she been 13 years old. I cry for this young lady; because that man took away from this young lady not only her baby; but any happiness she should of have during her teen years. Stephanie was frightened; how could she not be?

It scares me to know; how many people know this case is unethical; yet they keep the baby from this young lady. This young lady; is a victim of sexual abuse; and the guidance counselor never thought about what he was doing to this young lady. We should be able to trust our guidance counselors; but I am fearful; most of them do not catch signs they should.

Stephanie; and her family need help. If they do not come up with the money; for an appeal within two weeks; her precious baby will be loss to the industry most of us despise with a passion. So; please visit the above link; and at the end of the post; Sandy has linked where you can send your donations.

I am crying for this young lady; who should be enjoying life. How the hell could this man do this to her?

Saturday, August 25, 2007

Calling All Attorneys in the United States

If you are an attorney; or you know one will you please leave me a comment. Especially; if you/they do pro bono work; and you/they are familiar with adoption issues. Revocations; contesting an adoption; etc........... It does not matter what state you/they are in; we need all 50 states to help.

We usually all learn by word of mouth who to use; and who not to use. Yes; I heard a receptionist tell me the other day; that there are so many attorneys that willingly volunteer their time. I think in any business; there are people in it for the money; and then their are people who actually are in their business because they want to make a difference. You can make a difference; in any career.

Here's a story about word of mouth from my personal experience. A lot of you know; I was diagnosed with a Brain Tumor; on August 4, 2006; and there was not a neurosurgeon in Atlanta who was experienced with the tumor. Oh we got; "I think I can do it" Excuse me; this is not trying to fix my car; this is brain surgery; I want someone who knows what they are doing. This tumor; under 1%(think that's right) get it in the world. Epidermoid; if you want to look it up. Think I put that in another post. So we start researching; we found several neurosurgeons; who freaked me out just on the phone. Finally; S found a support group on-line; and asked who was the best neurosurgeon in the country for this surgery; responses flew without hesitation; all the same name; Dr. Fukushima. We were on the phone within minutes; Lori(office manager) answered; overnight the films to us; and we will look at them. By 5:00; the next day; we had an e-mail; that I definitely needed surgery; and it should be before the end of the year. The tumor was huge. I had surgery; and I am good. Dr .Fukushima; did my surgery on April 3(Tuesday); I was out of the hospital by April 7(Saturday); by dinner time. So; my point being we would of never found Dr. Fukushima; if it wasn't for word of mouth. And; I will sing his praises. Although; if you know him; you know he is doing that on his own:) I learned; when I was a patient @ Duke Hospital; he was one of the top four neurosurgeons in the world. And; we talked to other neurosurgeons who never stepped up to the plate for me; he did; before even meeting me. He took time out; and looked at the MRI films; not knowing if I would choose him; to be my surgeon. The other neurosurgeons; in TX, AR, TN; could of all done this; but didn't. None of them practice internationally; Dr. Fukushima does; and had less time to offered to look at the films for free; but he did. I realized; he was in this business because; he cared; not for the money. Oh; and if you know any thing about Brain Tumors; I just mentioned one of the biggest Brain Tumor Centers in this country(TX). I will not call out the name; but if you ask me directly; I will give it to you. So if we can get one of the best neursurgeons to step-up; I have faith we will get some of the best attorneys to step-up.

Friday, August 24, 2007

The Adoption Center of Choice; Are they predjudiced against fathers?

Another case in Utah; by the same adoption agency that kidnapped Baby O'Dea.

The Adoption Center of Choice; are they prejudiced against fathers? How many more times are they going to put the father through hell? And; we are all supposed to be ok with this. According to them; Bryn doesn't have any rights to information; because he wasn't married to Tiffany; the mother. Did you know that to have rights to your child you had to be married?

Bryn; informed the owner of The Adoption Center of Choice; he would come pick up his baby. Of course; the owner tried to tell Bryn how expensive this would be. Bryn; informed the owner this was not an issue. Bryn; called; and kept getting the run around; sound familiar? I have to inform the adoption agency; they are unethical!! How do they sleep at night? I can't; I lay; in bed; and cry for these fathers, mothers; all of us who have been hurt by this ugly business.

The agency tried to talk Bryn; in to an open adoption. That sounds all good; when you talk about it. But how many states actually enforce it? My friends; out there tell me the states that do stand by open adoption. Is Utah one of them? Also; Bryn has not received any thing from the agency; at this time. He has not seen pictures of his baby girl. Bryn; his awaiting her return home. He has name picked out for you; Baby Girl! Your daddy is fighting a cruel industry; and I pray for all the souls that have helped robb the parents of the babies that do have loving homes to go to.

Also; Bryn lives in Indiana; as well as Tiffany. How did an agency in Utah get involved?

We forget adoption; was supposed to be for the homeless children. I do not see any one rushing out; to provide a home for a teenager that has been loss to the foster care system. We are not sitting in courts; battling over those young people who could use a home open up to them; with love. Even in my own family; when I have voiced if we were ever to bring a child in to this home; the child would be older; and in the foster care system; by my sister those children come with issues; I wouldn't. Hmmm; that mind-set is why our foster care system is overcrowded. Do I agree with my sister? Hell No!! But; she made me think twice to subjecting a teenager to people in this family!!!!! Would we adopt? No; we would ask for guardianship. Because; I will never do the same thing; that has caused me so much heartache in my life to another family.

Thursday, August 23, 2007


"IT" I have seen a baby refer to this way to many times lately! A baby; is a human being; just as you, and I are. Yes; sometimes I know its a honest mistake. But; usually the person referring to the baby; as "it"; is all for the baby being torn away from their parents. No; I do not have respect for any one who knows the parent(mother/father) wanted the baby; and they still are ok with the baby/child being torn away from their families.

This especially applies to someone who is running around name A friend; on our blogs telling us Cody should embrace more family. That is disgusting on many levels; Cody should not embrace people who in my mind have kidnap his child. No; it wasn't done illegal! Then how do I call Baby O'Dea being with the adoptive parents kidnapping? They know; Cody never agreed to this adoption. If we are letting people adopt with these morals; how are our children going to be raised? I do not want; either of my children to think this is ok! It is unethical; and scary. And; I will say again I am ashamed to be a part of a country who criticizes fathers for not stepping up to the plate; then criticizes for them stepping up to the plate. This is a lose/lose situation for these fathers. They are damned if they do; and damned if they don't! Grrrrrrrr

I did not stop my son's adoption; but I am hoping if I tried; that his adoptive parents would have taking the high road.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Jamie Kiefer & Rikki Swann

Jamie, and Rikki have been both release on bond justme has informed me. Joseph Triste; remains in jail; at this time. This news came to me on August 18; but that day was for K, and T; on my blog. And then the next few days got crazy as Brittany has started back school. But; Jamie; Rikki; Cali; and Joseph have all remained in my thoughts, and prayers. Along; with Grandma Charmian; and the Kiefer family. We are rooting for you Cali; to be reunited with momma.

Saturday, August 18, 2007

Happy Birthday K

Today; I hope my friend; T; knows I am thinking of her. We only meant a few weeks ago; but she became a good friend instantly. Yes; being moms was our first connection. I want her to know; we are all wishing K a Happy Birthday! And; that she is in our thoughts. I know what is running through her mind; how could I not? It all ran through my own mind; just a few days ago. The many unknowns are so unfair; and no mother deserves this pain. T; I want you to know I am sending you lots of hugs.

A Special Bondby Rae Scales
Even though we have never met,I feel a bond between us.A bond that should have taken years to build,Yet was built in a month or two.A bond that lifelong friends should have,Although most never do.A bond that I am glad to share with you...My Friend and Confidant.You are not here in body and soul,But as a lighted rectangle.You come to me every day asA message on my screen,A message that I can rely onTo cheer me up and make my day.Through a keyboard we shareOur ups and downs.I have opened my inner self to you, And you have to me as well. We have traded secrets and laughs, As well as sorrows and pain. I have never met you, but feel as if I have known you most of my life. To most this might sound silly, But I assure them, it is not.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Happy Birthday, Baby Boy!

Happy Birthday; Baby Boy! Maybe; one day you will read this; and know I was thinking of you today. I hope you are enjoying today. I stayed up last night; looking at the clock. Talking to two friends; who do understand my pain; of missing you; they knew my attitude changed when the date changed; but they didn't pry; they just let me talk. You are 15; a young man. I wondered all night; was it a fight in your house the past week; if you could obtain your permit? I just wished I knew; then maybe I would know what you were thinking about this year. The phone rang so many times today; before I started answering calls. When I started answering; I talked to people; I did not have to pretend with. It was ok; to admit I was upset; and angry. Yes; honey; I hope you are not angry today. And; this is a day of happiness for you. But; I miss you! And love you! You; are my son; and I want to share all the joys with you. I wish somebody; explained the reality of adoption to me. You should see my eyes; I think you would laugh; they are all puffy. This day; is always the hardest for me. Most mothers; get to celebrate the day their child was born. I grieve; because the day you were born; is the day I loss you. I was thinking laying in bed; all the times I would hide; before you were born; just so I could talk to you; without any one else around; the time was just meant for me; and you. How many times did I tell you; it is ok momma is here? I am crying now; because I think how could I fail you? I wanted to spend this day with you always; momma always wanted to be there. I am sorry; baby boy. You know; I want to apologize to you; and hug you; and answer all the questions you have; if you have any. Most of us have questions; when things are unknown to us. If you are like me; you hate the unknown. There are so many question right now running through my mind; I want the answers to; but the only person who can answer them are you.

Happy Birthday; baby boy! Know momma is thinking of you today; and wishing you a Happy Birthday!

Friday, August 10, 2007

M-Shocked Me:)

There was a comment on Aislin's blog; http://aislin13.wordpress.com/; under Danny Again; that had my blood boiling. morefamily; made the comment; and I almost puke; at how bad it was. It did do wonders for me; and my sister; though. I picked up the phone driving to get Brittany from school; and I was nervous when she answered. So; at first I made small talk. Then I asked her "what do you consider my son?" M; repeated the question back to me; I think to make sure she understood what I was asking. Ya'll are going to be shock at the response; but it was as if she handed me my validation; that my son has a place in this family. M's response was"He's my nephew. And; if he needed any thing medical I would be one of the first ones tested." Wow. And; I was going to disown my sister; if she said that he wasn't her nephew; as morefamily stated on Aislin's blog; that if Cali remains with the Erickson's; Cali is no longer her niece. And; this is a person who says they believe in God. M; is a practicing Catholic; and very much believes in God. M; is also not against adoption; but has told me; after I sent her articles on the Kiefer's; this case is very wrong; it should have never taking place. This is a young woman; who supports adoption. But; I am starting to think she is starting to see the reality of what it does to the natural family. Celeste; is bringing the Mother's Project; I hope to Atlanta; and both my mother; and sister have said they would attend. Maybe; just maybe there is hope.

Wednesday, August 8, 2007

The Week Before:(

I have been quiet for a few days. As; I have slumped in to a depression. Yesterday; got real bad; as I slept most of the day; on and off. When I realized it was only a week until my baby boy; will be 15; my heart shattered in to a million pieces. I am not doing what a momma usually gets to do during this time; plan the day; order the cake; being busy with all the preparations! I broke down realizing that with my son; I might never be busy with any of the preparations for the special events in his life. How many times can I hear you will be there? From my mother at that. She wants me to believe that; I assume; so I will not blame her. Do I blame her? Yes! I try to make her realize what this has done to me; but I think she is more worried that her in-laws will find out about my son. You do not just lose your child; you lose his/her children; and hope one day you will be a part of his/her life. And; that he/she will allow you to be a part of their children's lives. I am crying; as I write this post; because as the day gets closer; the worst my depression gets. How could it not get worst? My son; will always call someone else momma. The 14th will be a day to celebrate in his home; and it will be a day I will mourned always. I loss my baby boy that day; and for so long I blocked it out. Never that day though. I would grieve in silence; act as if nothing was wrong; but I can't be that strong any more. All the years of grieving in silence are getting to me. I just want to scream; and someone validate my pain. That someone; being my mother. That will never happen; and one day I will have to come to terms with that; but as of yet I haven't. She is the reason; to so many unknowns concerning my son. I just wished she would sit back; and say that is my grandson; and I wish he was here with us. Is that asking for to much? I keep trying to put myself in my mother's shoes; why will she not referred to baby boy; as her grandson; is it because she then would have to realize that she did this to her grandchild? That instead of stepping-up; and saying I am grandma; I will help; she manipulated me in to thinking I could never raise the baby; I was to young. You know I realize I would be a better mother to my daughter; if I hadn't been manipulated in to this decision. I have trouble holding a baby; and it was hard to hold Brittany; but I did; and we got through the baby years; but it was hard! Although; I do not hold any other babies; as some of you know. A lot of you; didn't realize until this blog; and never forced the issue with me.

There has been no news from the search angel; and that is heartbreaking. I am going to look at the list again; and see if there is another one who can help.

Saturday, August 4, 2007

People who Go to Church Why do You Judge Others?

I had dinner with my parents; the last two nights.Why do I torture myself? Because; before going; I dread it. I do it for; Brittany.Is it healthy for Brittany I wonder; when I listen to my parents(mom & stepfather); pass judgement on people. Yes; these are people who go to church. And; then judge other people. I have a problem with that; aren't you taught at church not to judge others? I don't know: I do not attend church. Do I believe in God? Yes. Do I pray? Every day!

Here is one of the conversations that took place: A mutual friend; ran in to my sister's ex-boyfriend; and he tints windows for a living. That to me; is an honest job; good for him. Yes; my sister has been married for 7 years; so why are my parents worried about what an ex-boyfriend does for a living? The statement made; I think by mother; he's 37; and tinting windows. IMO; why do you care? And; I don't see what is wrong with that; it is a honest job. I told my parents this; and of course they looked at me like I am CRAZY! I told my mother; if you do not like him; you need to thank God; he is not married to your daughter. Did I like him? You know; we really never got to know each other. So it wouldn't be fair for me to answer that.

Last night; was the worst though; UGH! A young boy; about my son's age; I would guess; walked by; with a different hair style. My stepfather; made a comment; I saw his eyes following him. Now; how do we know that is not my son? It hurt my feelings; as I thought if my son has a different hair style; he will be judged by this family; my family; his family!Teenagers; experiment with hair styles; it is normal. Brittany; at 10; wants streaks; I told her the spray is fine; nothing permanent; she is to young; for the chemical in her hair. Ladies; we all know about those chemicals; huh? Yes; I color my hair; most of you know that.

Then; the conversation moved to another subject; that would lead me again to being slapped in the face; by my stepfather; I did not say any thing I regretted; thanks to my dear friend; M; calling just at the right moment! I asked my stepfather; if he had seen a sibling of Brittany's friend lately; and he said no. I told him; what a beautiful young lady she was; as the last time; I saw her she was still a little girl; and then I saw her this week; didn't even know it was her. My stepfather said "I didn't know she was ADOPTED." Can you imagine what the comment did to me? I do not like adoption jokes; and they are very HURTFUL. I would of expected more; from my own family.

Thursday, August 2, 2007

Cody's COURT DATE is August 27, 2007

I have just been advised by Shannon; Cody O'Dea's sister; that Cody's court date is August 27,2007. If you have not stopped by; Cody's site yet; please do so. Offer your support in his guestbook; that Shannon has created for him; and his Baby Girl. I stop in every day; just to check in; sometimes I do not leave a message; but I do check in daily. The O'Dea family has my heart; they have been treated unfairly. I am outraged by that!!!!!!! Please; visit the site; and offer your support to Cody; and his family; http://www.babyselling.com/!!! The O'Dea Family; has become very dear to me. Baby O'Dea; please know you are very loved!!! By a lot of people. And your daddy; is a great man!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, August 1, 2007

Cody O'Dea

Cody has weighed on mind; heavy lately. The main reason; his court date is August 29, 2007. That is in twenty-eight days; and I am praying that on that day; the O'Dea family goes home, with Cody's baby girl, and celebrates her homecoming.

I wish Daniel(my son's father); ahh; bet you weren't expecting that name; were you? Had been the man; Cody is. Daniel; left two days later; after pretending to be happy about the baby. If Daniel; had picked up the phone; just once; maybe this month would not be a living hell for me. Cody; picked up the phone not once; but numerous times. In my mind; as a mother; he was trying to save all of them; from the heartache so many of us live with. And; to many of us do live with the heartache; but we can help families like Cody's; cause it is to late to save ourselves from the pain; so we have to use our pain for changing things for other families.

So; I have to say; yes; I wish my son; had a father like the man; Cody is.

In thirteen days; my baby boy will be fifteen. Thre are questions; that run through my mind; that I can't answer; and it makes me cry. What kind of cake does he want? Does he even eat cake? What about the flavor of ice cream? Or does he like icecream cake; like his aunt? What would he like to do on his birthday? I am sad; for Ashley(Baby O'Dea's mother); these questions will run through her mind every year on the baby's birthday. Cody; is trying to prevent all of their families from enduring that hell.

Yes; I know from the man; Cody is; he will not keep his daughter; from her mother. I wish I could talk to; Ashley. To explain to her; what this does to a family. My heart breaks for Cody; every night. I cry for that young man. And; thank God; there are men out there like Cody.