"If you can dream it, you can do it." Walt Disney
Why didn't I think of these words when I would dream of taking care of my baby? I dreamed of holding the baby, loving him; but I was told the exact opposite of this. You are to young; you'll never be able to do it. Where was my Walt Disney; or the rest of my friends who lost their babies to adoption where were their Walt Disney's?I hear my mother say to me all the time; you can do any thing you put your mind to. Why didn't she say that almost fifteen years ago; no, according to her I couldn't give the baby what other people could. She was right; I couldn't give the baby the money other people could back then. I wouldn't choose a friend for what he/she has; but I would choose a friend for the person they are. I think I have this mind-set now; how could I let someone play that card with me? To me; I do not care what fianacially you could offer my child; I could of loved my child; a mother's love; is more important then any thing you could buy a child.
Another; thing has me disturbed! Did you know you can adopt with a criminal record? I am in school; going for Criminal Justice. And in the text; they were showing the studies of adopted children; comparing if the natural father had a criminal record; or the adoptive father had a criminal record. WHAT? YES; you know me all to well. I had to google it. You can not adopt; if your crime had any thing to do with a child. DUH; what would make you think you could adopt a child after that? A person; with a violent crime; they say it is harder to adopt; harder not IMPOSSIBLE. Yes; I believe people change. But; what about what this person goes through in jail, or prison? Is a person ever normal after that experience? I wouldn't want to take my chance on that; my baby was adopted; and this freaks me out. Can you see how uneducated my decision was? How could I not know this; before giving up a baby? If this is not true; tell me. I only know what I found when I googled it. AND I AM MAD!! Why does this topic; always make me walk away mad?
I did join OriginsUSA: and think it is going to be very beneficial to me. If you; are not a member; join. Every one is so nice, and easy to talk to. I finally feel like I am doing something!
5 comments:
yeah amazing how parents forget how the say "you can do it" when it's really important. About a year after I placed my son my mom pulled out some baby clothes from her closet to give to a friend who was pregnant. Turns out she'd bought them for me in case I'd decided to parent. Unfortunatly I didn't know this, I didn't know she thought that was an option. I didnt know she was excited to be a grandmother. I didn't know she thought I COULD be a mother.
Yes; why is that? I am sorry; you did not it was an option. You would of been a great mother:)
Kell
Katjamichelle, that is sad. I can't imagine how that must have crushed you, stirring up all of those feelings that you worked for a year to try to put behind you. My mom wanted me to have an abortion, can't remember if she mentioned adoption, but after she concluded life was going to be the way it was, she too became excited and bought things, etc.
One thing I think is important for you to remember is that your mother, by purchasing those clothes, had/has a high regard for you as an individual. I mean, even though she never conveyed those feelings to you, she knew/knows that you are a strong person, and she was ready for you to change your mind. I hope you don't take what I'm saying the wrong way.
I mean, the whole point is that we were young and uneducated, so we depended on the opinions of our peers to show us the right way. Our parents only treat us this way because they figure its the only way for us, and the babies, to have a good life. But is this something that their mothers taught them? As a new generation, I think we are seeing what can/could be, not just what we are told anymore.
Kell, thought on the Walt Disney thing: Did you ever wonder why nursery rhymes were so mean? Like the cradle falling, becoming ashes in ring around the rosie... Mmmmm...
oh; that makes you think; doesn't it??? What are your thoughts on that???
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